How to get Everything you want (10)

I’m back with Part 10 of How to get Everything you want.

At the beginning, let me share with you some personal thoughts as usual – this part is gonna be a ‘lil bit longer today, because – facts (the later part) lead us to the light of mind, fictions on the other hand lead us to the light of heart – I personally think personal stories are important for human.

The past few days have been an emotional challenge to me. I’m moving to London therefore have been wrapping things up. I’m excited about the future and at the same time I’m sad. I have been waking up seeing the current stage of my life passing so fast towards my back, which means: very soon I’ll no longer live in same house, go to the same office, see the same people and this chapter of my life is gonna be done, I won’t come back. There will be people that I might never see again. Honestly, I have been saying a lot of Goodbyes lately and tried hard to do it with a pokerface every time.

Guess what? After all I’m a human and (thank God) I have feelings. This inevitable “to feel or not to feel” sadness has been my good friends for years. I’ve been moving around too much, like my best friend said – “chucking carton boxes and doing the vanishing act the next, to a different city or even a different country”. The global life is glamorous, however it’s not as easy as it sounds, not at all. In fact, it requires a lot of self-defeating acts, at least emotionally. Places – they are full of memories – happy, sad, good, bad, hysterical and unforgettable. From thousands miles away, years later, I could still imagine the streets I walked, the sound of the nights, the people, the moments…

An American friend of mine said something to me yesterday after I’d said goodbye to him (maybe for good) – “Adios Amigo”

adios

“Adios Amigo” means “Goodbye, My Friend!” – Everyday in life we meet people, sometimes we (happen to) get along, become colleagues, friends, close friends, etc. Then life goes on (forever), many times we would have to say goodbye, move on and do our own things, work hard to get what we really want. The (only) thing that really matters to me is that – we could (firstly) be good friends, be honest to each other and genuinely hope for the best for everyone’s lives. Goodbyes might not always be beautiful, but “Adios Amigo” – being able to say so, we know we have no regret – that’s important.

Alright, let’s get back to work and revise our journey until now:

How to get Everything you want (THEN WHAT?)

Part 1: Every (great) thing in life starts with a vision. Create your vision!

Part 2: Count what you have AND what you don’t yet have; be grateful for both!

Part 3: Take a walk

Part 4: Create your A—>B agenda. Stick to it.

Part 5: Do your homework. Research. Get to know-how (at least theoretically).

Part 6: Differentiate between pure fairy tales and ambitious (but doable) dreams.

Part 7: When you get stuck, unplug yourself from work for a while, go out and enjoy life. Set yourself time to come back to work.

Part 8: DO your best everyday (for yourself first), the rest will come.

Part 9: Select the people that you keep (closely) around yourself.

I know Part 9 is a tricky one; I’ll leave it to you to decide who to keep around yourself regularly.

Here’s Part 10: Be patient while accumulating (please don’t be patient sitting there doing nothing).

Accumulation is a nice word – I wrote about it briefly back in 2009:

Screen Shot 2015-08-09 at 10.12.10 pm

Translation:

In accumulating stages, almost everything we encounter contains some potential and unpredictable possibilities, most of which are positive and are quite interesting to predict. Why are they interesting? Because things go up and down (and up and down and up and down), the middle parts between ups and downs are actually accumulating stages.

Once we accept the fact that What goes up Must come down (and up and down), accumulating stages are rare moments when the orbit slows down and gives us a boarder perspective of the whole landscape. The progression of the next (up or down) circle will then happen so naturally that sometimes we don’t even realize it’s happening. The real challenge is – being able to (zoom in and zoom out frequently to) catch the rhythm.

Looking back, I can’t believe I wrote this passage when I was 19. However I know the reason: It was right after the 2008 financial crisis when I was forced to leave Law school in Australia. I spent 2008 & 2009 in great depression, I was shocked and was literally receiving psychological treatment while (still) needed to go to school and worked as a stockbroker everyday. I remember locking myself in the toilet of the company crying many times because it was too much, life was so hard.

One day when I was crying, the boss knocked on the door of the toilet, asked me out and said something that changed everything:

“Look, I know what’s happening to you, I know it’s a hard time for you and for all of us. You can see how’s the market performing and we are cutting 70% of our headcount. You stay because you cost almost nothing. Myself wished to wake up today and this mess was over. But here it is, so stay with me, take it as the worst day of your life, then tomorrow things can only get better. Life will pick up again, much sooner than you think. For now, be patient, work hard and don’t be too hard on yourself. This, too, shall pass.”

I know it sounds crazy to say that: I’m grateful that (I think) I’ve witnessed the worst days of my life. After a very bad day, things can only get better; I just need to work hard and be patient (back in 2009 it meant to get a Bachelor degree). And if sometimes things get bad or require more work and patience, I’m not scared – Been there, done that.

I’m not saying that you must witness the worst days of your life in order to be a better person; but it helps if we take a positive view on changes, be patient, work hard, prepare yourself for the next (up and down) circle. Ironically, we have to prepare ourselves much better for great things that happen, because (naturally) they are followed by (not necessarily bad stuff but) even greater challenges.

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– Skye 

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